Wealth Consultant Gifts

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

The day the stock market went UP.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

Build Your Own Portfolio

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

Be Healthy

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

Watering Money

Will work for ETFs

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

You can breed these if the environment is right.

Stock market investment advice

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

Flat tax - equal burden?

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

"It's called American acceptionalism. We grab more and more of the country's wealth and 99% of Americans just continue to accept it."

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

"There are the arts, the sciences, agriculture, and commerce. Stick with commerce, if you know what's good for you."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'