Financial Planners Gifts

'All those who think change is good, say aye...'

"What about our pension plan?"

'To make matter worse, our combined weight is higher than our credit score.'

Prices and inflation

"This giant chunk of my salary goes to student loans, this chunk goes to malpractice insurance, and this giant chunk goes to taxes. All I'm asking is to increase this tiny sliver of actual free and clear income..."

'We can put the wedding on your credit card, and the honeymoon on mine...'

Back to School Supplies & Small Loans

"Well, one good thing about summer...is I work more hours and make a lot more money. The bad thing is...I have a lot more free time to spend it all."

"What would you do if you won $1 million?"

Beginning to look a lot like Christmas

"We have a number of service options, the cheapest 'bronze', involves giving you lousy advice."

"We're suffering from empty nest egg syndrome."

'Reading from left to right, that's my mortgage, my son's college tuition, and my auto rental agreement.'

'My salary just doesn't go as far as it used to. Two blocks and it's gone.'

'According to this bank statement, you can stop worrying. We're out of money to run out of.'

The kids are long gone and, frankly, I need the income

Your marriage proposal sounds good, Arnie, but I'd like to hear about the retirement plan.

'You won't have me as a deduction anymore.'

angel: 'My old regret is, I didn't go now, pay later.'

"I think it would be wise to establish a legal-defense fund for my kids while they're still young."

Balancing money against childs education

'We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account.'

"Drinking and smoking will certainly help you to get an 'enhanced annuity'. . ."

200 days until next payday

'We've mortaged our future, our children's future, and their children's future!'

'Regarding the salary we're willing to offer you.. don't expect to get your four-years of college tuition back in one year.'

"It seems unjust that we have to start the kids' college funds before we pay off our students loans."

Phone Bill. Total. Remember when talk was cheap?

Tipping Pain Chart

"My love for you is immeasurable, but the Child Tax Credit is $2000."

Balanced Budget

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

The day the stock market went UP.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.