Productivity Planner Pillows

'My next move is to figure out my next move.'

'Hold on a minute. I have another call on this line, which might be more productive.'

'Hmmm, come to think of it, you're right: Productivity is always low in Winter...'

Our Productivity Plan: More Coffee

"Make it quick Carl, I've gotta 'be present' in about text minutes."

Monday around 9PM.

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

Interruption Time Management

"And last but not least, organizational psychologist Ron Haynes, who limits my switching of guitars to at least every other song."

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Pipe Dream.

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

Time Is Money

"Three more years of high school."

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

God's Subcontractors

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

Do you have to write the 5 paragraph essays to be a rich investment banker? Or rock star? Or famous actress? No. No. And no. Then why learn to write one? So when those jobs don't work out

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

ACME Balloon Company.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'