Data Planner Gifts

"You don't have to worry about using up your minutes."

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"We only got six days of funding."

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

When Engineers Crack.

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

'We took the old plan, folded in half, and now it's the new plan.'

"I think you might need to start again."

Innovation & Calculation

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

'More homes and wind turbines planned.'

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

Engineer on the move.

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

Tsunami Evac Route

Father Time Management

Bad Office Planning

"We're still trying to sort out the details."

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

Clear construction agreements are important.

"I thought an illogical framework would work better."

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

Cat Day Planner.

"Well let`s see. It's going to be tight but I could squeeze you in for a walk at 1 pm."

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

Hi! You want to, like, hang out? Sure. When are you free? Twig! Time to pack. We're leaving!! In about a year? It's on my iCal.

"It's definitely Friday. I'm looking at my calendar."