Protein Alternatives Gifts

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"

"My veganism begins and ends with eating insects."

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

Vegetarian Birds

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

'I'd like something with a high amount of vegetable protein, a bit of glucose or dextroe for energy, and some fiber.' 'One peanut butter and jelly on toast.'

Drink it! We've all had to sacrifice our kids for our careers in one way or another... And besides, you need the protein, Rock.

"I have a protein drink every day for lunch, because I never have to chew."

"But Herman, we can't just throw in the towel like that."

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

"I'm thinking of switching to an all vegan diet...based on carrots...mainly carrots..."

"I only invest in alternative meat products, so I reject the terms 'Bull' and 'Bear'."

Low Carb Dieter Birthdays - diving for meat from the pinata.

Sick Of A Low-Carb Diet

'Never mind insecticides - now they think of us as protein.'

"What've you got that's good for vegans?"

Go Veggie...

'Stinkin low carb housing.'

"I'm looling for ground beef that's organic, non-GMO, and doesn't contain meat."

"Where hard boiled eggs end up."

Dr Atkins on a date: 'Why does he keep looking at me like I'm a piece of meat?'

The Atkins Diet.

I'm sick and tired of this low carb diet.

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

"Ey up, guys! Here comes the slaughter mower - everyone Duck!"

Ernie's on a high-protein diet and craving foods he can't have. They're creeping into everything he says. Whatcha watching, Ernie? I'm trying to decide between "Game of Scones" and that zombie show, "The Walking Bread." Later I might watch some "Dancing with the Starch." Ernie, leave room for that political drama you enjoy so much. Oh yeah, I love binging on "House of Carbs"!

"Everyone, stop looking delicious. The vegans are back and that tofurkey jerky won't keep them back much longer."

"As vegan zombies, are we allowed to eat brains?"

"No fog lips, rat guts or bat teeth? I hate going vegan!"

'Uh-oh, Ben's 'wired' again, I better cut down on his high protein dog food.'

Less curds, more whey. Middle-aged Miss Muffet.

New Milks