Protein Enthusiast Gifts

'Stinkin low carb housing.'

'I'd like something with a high amount of vegetable protein, a bit of glucose or dextroe for energy, and some fiber.' 'One peanut butter and jelly on toast.'

Sick Of A Low-Carb Diet

"If we're high in protein, why are we so small?"

"Where hard boiled eggs end up."

Less curds, more whey. Middle-aged Miss Muffet.

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

Dr Atkins on a date: 'Why does he keep looking at me like I'm a piece of meat?'

I'm sick and tired of this low carb diet.

The Atkins Diet.

Biceps, muscles and brawn

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"How long have you lived in this gym?"

'Yes, I do a lot of rowing. How could you tell?'

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Basic training w/ GI Joe, Rambo, Bruce Lee, etc.

The size of a man's upper body is directly proportional to the number of unresolved issues in his head.

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'Who cares about content? With a title like this it'll sell millions!'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

Joe's Gym: 'Can anyone here open this jar of pickles!?'

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

A doctor calls a body builder to perform a patella tap test on a large patient.

"I have a protein drink every day for lunch, because I never have to chew."

"His prose is so muscular."

Protein Powder Irony

Sadie, the way you objectify football players is unconscionable. It's what? All you talk about are their muscles, square jaws, animal intensity. Ooh. What? I live it when you get all puffed up and macho and tough. And what biceps. Much better. Well played. Girl does what she's got to.

A muscle pushing a body builders brain out of his skull.

"But Herman, we can't just throw in the towel like that."

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'