Protector Of The Couch Gifts

'Actually on a molecular level, I'm quite active.'

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"I won't be in today, I'm feeling a little under the coffee table."

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

Hell No Kitty

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

The IRS emptied my pouch.

The Common Sutra.

"Honey! He's breached the recliner! I repeat, the puppy has breached my La-Z-Boy!!"

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

"Why would I care of you scratch the couch? I'm not allowed on it..."

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

"I've only just started practicing. I'm hoping the proceeds from these first few sessions will pay for a couch."

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

'Remember the good old days when he wasn't allowed on the furniture?'

"Don't push her off! Can't you see she's exhausted?"

'You''ll just have to accept the fact that they're more concerned with their furniture than with you.'

Who am I kidding?

'I used to wrap the couch in plastic, but this is better.'

Couch on stilts so cats can't scratch it

'I don't care how smart he is, he's not allowed on the furniture!'

'Oh, Joey's left home alright, but you know how it is, kids never really move out...'

That's it. I'm killing that moth.

"...P.S. Stay off the furniture!"

"Enough of this. Let's go shred a sofa."

"Her name is 'Precious', but her nickname is 'why we can't have nice things.'"

"Obsessive complacent disorder"