Protector Of The Couch T-Shirts

'Actually on a molecular level, I'm quite active.'

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"I won't be in today, I'm feeling a little under the coffee table."

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

The IRS emptied my pouch.

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

"Honey! He's breached the recliner! I repeat, the puppy has breached my La-Z-Boy!!"

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

"Just sitting here widening. You?"

"Why would I care of you scratch the couch? I'm not allowed on it..."

"I've only just started practicing. I'm hoping the proceeds from these first few sessions will pay for a couch."

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

'You''ll just have to accept the fact that they're more concerned with their furniture than with you.'

'Remember the good old days when he wasn't allowed on the furniture?'

"Don't push her off! Can't you see she's exhausted?"

Who am I kidding?

'I used to wrap the couch in plastic, but this is better.'

Couch on stilts so cats can't scratch it

"...P.S. Stay off the furniture!"

'I don't care how smart he is, he's not allowed on the furniture!'

'Oh, Joey's left home alright, but you know how it is, kids never really move out...'

"Enough of this. Let's go shred a sofa."

'You're sitting in her chair,vicar!'

"Obsessive complacent disorder"

"Trimmed, but not so much that I can't claw up the furniture."