Prosthetic Awareness Advocate Gifts

Of course, it's just a temp until your permanent hook is made.

"This isn't helping my migraine."

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

The incomplete Angler

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

'Whoops. There goes one of my prostheses.'

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

Bubbling

National #@*&%!$@? Tourettes Institute *&%!$

Sewer Rats

"Dangerous? Nah, I could count on one hand the number of times he's bitten me."

"In some ways it'll be a relief when the obesity time-bomb does finally go off."

'Reinventing myself.'

'OK, who wants to be a hero?'

'I said my hormones are playing up again! Why don't you pay attention?'

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"

Prosthetic Society Annual Hoe-Down : 'You put your left leg in, you put your left leg out..'

Newly amputated arm points to captain Hooks' cabin.

Opium Den 2019

Tired old peglegs

"The Hendersons say they've got Covid. Is that still a thing?"

"Staff, we're having a Cinco de Mayo sale this year!"

'Are you willing to release your medical records?'

"For Hispanic Heritage Month, we have a special project! With these chips and cheese, we're gonna make nachos!"

'There's already an aids quilt... the committee thought it would be a good idea if the club made a syphilis quilt.'

"But do you feel invisible?"

'How about a big hand for my back up trio.'

Prostate Issues

Drug-Free Zone ... Except For Junk Food.

Well, someone's gotta tell him he's adopted.

"Oooh, no - I couldn't have another slice of carrot cake, Mabel - not with my irritable bowel the way it is..."

She's Not Heavy, She's a Heroine