Advocate For Awareness Gifts

National #@*&%!$@? Tourettes Institute *&%!$

"This isn't helping my migraine."

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

Zika global alert

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

More Unequal Than Others

Bubbling

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

Sewer Rats

Olympic flame sending postcard - 'Wish I wasn't here.'

"In short, then, I'm looking for a job that matches my sense of entitlement!"

'Your lab tests are back. Your cholesterol, triglycerides, and ego are all too high.'

"In some ways it'll be a relief when the obesity time-bomb does finally go off."

"Light at the end of the tunnel!|

'Reinventing myself.'

'OK, who wants to be a hero?'

'I said my hormones are playing up again! Why don't you pay attention?'

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"

"You probably already know this disease from the walkathon of the same name."

'Why missionary-themed!restaurants 'usually fail.'

Opium Den 2019

'Just look on the positive side Mr. President - you've single-handedly united the world!!'

"The Hendersons say they've got Covid. Is that still a thing?"

"Staff, we're having a Cinco de Mayo sale this year!"

'Are you willing to release your medical records?'

'Whoa, hey, guys! Where are you going?! I was just brushing my teeth, see!'

'There's already an aids quilt... the committee thought it would be a good idea if the club made a syphilis quilt.'

"For Hispanic Heritage Month, we have a special project! With these chips and cheese, we're gonna make nachos!"

Drug-Free Zone ... Except For Junk Food.

"Oooh, no - I couldn't have another slice of carrot cake, Mabel - not with my irritable bowel the way it is..."