Prosthetic Awareness Advocate Pillows

"This isn't helping my migraine."

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

The incomplete Angler

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

'Whoops. There goes one of my prostheses.'

Bubbling

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

Sewer Rats

National #@*&%!$@? Tourettes Institute *&%!$

"Dangerous? Nah, I could count on one hand the number of times he's bitten me."

'Reinventing myself.'

"In some ways it'll be a relief when the obesity time-bomb does finally go off."

'I said my hormones are playing up again! Why don't you pay attention?'

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"

Prosthetic Society Annual Hoe-Down : 'You put your left leg in, you put your left leg out..'

"The Hendersons say they've got Covid. Is that still a thing?"

Opium Den 2019

Newly amputated arm points to captain Hooks' cabin.

Tired old peglegs

"Staff, we're having a Cinco de Mayo sale this year!"

'Are you willing to release your medical records?'

'There's already an aids quilt... the committee thought it would be a good idea if the club made a syphilis quilt.'

"For Hispanic Heritage Month, we have a special project! With these chips and cheese, we're gonna make nachos!"

Prostate Issues

Why pirates don't get picked in basketball teams.

Well, someone's gotta tell him he's adopted.

Donny - A dog of the 80's.

"Oooh, no - I couldn't have another slice of carrot cake, Mabel - not with my irritable bowel the way it is..."

'How about a big hand for my back up trio.'

"But do you feel invisible?"