Amputation Awareness Advocate Pillows

"Dangerous? Nah, I could count on one hand the number of times he's bitten me."

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

YOLO vs YODO

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

"This isn't helping my migraine."

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

The incomplete Angler

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

"I suggest you take an Empathy pill every day."

Bubbling

Sewer Rats

National #@*&%!$@? Tourettes Institute *&%!$

"In some ways it'll be a relief when the obesity time-bomb does finally go off."

'OK, who wants to be a hero?'

'I said my hormones are playing up again! Why don't you pay attention?'

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"

Help - "What's in it for me?"

"Young man, you're the only one who bothered to stop!"

Another possibility to why manatees are endangered.

"The Hendersons say they've got Covid. Is that still a thing?"

'Are you willing to release your medical records?'

'There's already an aids quilt... the committee thought it would be a good idea if the club made a syphilis quilt.'

Water carriers/bearers.

Why pirates don't get picked in basketball teams.

Prostate Issues

Please give U.S. Fire & Flooding Victims

Well, someone's gotta tell him he's adopted.

"Oooh, no - I couldn't have another slice of carrot cake, Mabel - not with my irritable bowel the way it is..."

"But do you feel invisible?"

'I've changed my mind, I'm using all mine!'

She's Not Heavy, She's a Heroine

Drug-Free Zone ... Except For Junk Food.