Prosthetics Enthusiast Gifts

Tired old peglegs

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

Bad hair day!

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Dating is so expensive...

Pampered and poodled.

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

What price beauty?

"I don't like your application."

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

Cover Design for Yellow Book Prospectus for Vol 5 (Not Published)

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

Your presentation will be terrific. I was up all night, but something's still missing. Here. I've got just what you need. How thoughtful! Eye concealer! No need to thank me.

New Twenty Blades

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

'You do Botox?'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

"More concealer?"

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

Mirror mirror...

'Botox...'