Plastic Surgery Aficionado Gifts

'You do Botox?'

Doctor talks to face that is halfway down man's body: 'I'm afraid the face transplant has not quite taken.'

'Yes, they are and no, not a chance!'

"For my second breast augmentation I added a WiFi hotspot."

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'I need a botox job.'

'Dog's begging again...'

'Ahhh . . . he's got your original nose.'

"I ran out of plastic skin, so I grafted on her credit cards!"

"I'm not thrilled with the cosmetic surgery, but at least now everything doesn't smell like carrots."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

Body Building

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

Jumble Sale

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

Anatomy.

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

'If you want them balanced, it'll be an extra 250 dollars.'

"All these years I put my nose to the grindstone. Now I need a nose job!"

"Well, we saved this attorney. Some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin."

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

He really puts his heart into it!

'She had a boob job halfway through the sitting!'

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

'Recent studies have demonstrated that what we believed were ritual sacrifices to Gods, were unsuccessful attempts to do breast implant surgeries."'

Cosmetic pouches.

'Voila!! No more wrinkles!!'