Plastic Surgery Aficionados Gifts

Cosmetic pouches.

'I went under the knife. Do you like?'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

'You do Botox?'

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

Body Building

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

'Ahhh . . . he's got your original nose.'

Jumble Sale

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

Anatomy.

He really puts his heart into it!

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

'Recent studies have demonstrated that what we believed were ritual sacrifices to Gods, were unsuccessful attempts to do breast implant surgeries."'

"Well, we saved this attorney. Some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin."

'If you want them balanced, it'll be an extra 250 dollars.'

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

"All these years I put my nose to the grindstone. Now I need a nose job!"

'She had a boob job halfway through the sitting!'

Operating room. 3 days without an accident.

'He really put his heart into it.'

"Although a face transplant is theoretically possible you still can't have Brad Pitt's."

'Laser Surgery While You Wait.'