Cosmetic Surgery Aficionados Gifts

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

'I'd like a 'trout pout'.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

Body Building

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

"She won't be long, I'm just putting her face on."

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

Jumble Sale

'Got anything with a little less musk?'

'She had a boob job halfway through the sitting!'

'Recent studies have demonstrated that what we believed were ritual sacrifices to Gods, were unsuccessful attempts to do breast implant surgeries."'

"Now, open your cosmetics fridge and delicately apply the cold hard cash to the area around your eyes."

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

'Mommy didn't bring a stick. Boo Boo want to fetch a lipstick?'

'If you want them balanced, it'll be an extra 250 dollars.'

How The Elephant Lost Her Trunk

Cosmetic pouches.

"Although a face transplant is theoretically possible you still can't have Brad Pitt's."

The Adventures of Morton - Sensitive skin.

'Having limited funds, Irwin goes with the less expensive chest hair transplant.'

'I went under the knife. Do you like?'

"Breast implants, filler and botox for your missus doesn't fulfill our home improvements criteria."

'What I've just has my teeth whitened,'

"I'm saving up to have the other one done."

'Now you do realise that we're unable to cure your ugliness don't you?'

'Honey, I need some money for a facial: I need to look my best with all these photo safaris around...'

Cosmetics keep men from reading between the lines.

"Pulling out the thorn was easy. What I'm most proud of is the hair transplant."