Cosmetic Surgery Aficionados Pillows

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

'I'd like a 'trout pout'.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

Frank & Ernest. Signe Painted. Cosmetology Dept. That should be "cosmology"! Why do you always get those two confused? I always think the one about space should have an "et" in it.

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

Body Building

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

'Got anything with a little less musk?'

Jumble Sale

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

"She won't be long, I'm just putting her face on."

"Now, open your cosmetics fridge and delicately apply the cold hard cash to the area around your eyes."

How The Elephant Lost Her Trunk

'She had a boob job halfway through the sitting!'

'Mommy didn't bring a stick. Boo Boo want to fetch a lipstick?'

'Recent studies have demonstrated that what we believed were ritual sacrifices to Gods, were unsuccessful attempts to do breast implant surgeries."'

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

'If you want them balanced, it'll be an extra 250 dollars.'

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

Cosmetic pouches.

"Although a face transplant is theoretically possible you still can't have Brad Pitt's."

The Adventures of Morton - Sensitive skin.

"Breast implants, filler and botox for your missus doesn't fulfill our home improvements criteria."

'I went under the knife. Do you like?'

'Having limited funds, Irwin goes with the less expensive chest hair transplant.'

'What I've just has my teeth whitened,'

"I'm saving up to have the other one done."

'Now you do realise that we're unable to cure your ugliness don't you?'

"Oh ... still putting on your makeup?"

"You mean to say you haven't even put your face on yet?"