Cosmetic Procedure Enthusiast Pillows

"Just give me enough so that no one can read my expression at the big poker game tonight."

Bad hair day!

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Pampered and poodled.

Dating is so expensive...

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"I don't like your application."

What price beauty?

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

New Twenty Blades

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

Facelift Book.

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

"More concealer?"

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

Mirror mirror...

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

'Botox...'

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

A cow with a Brazilian.

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'