Cosmetic Surgery Enthusiasts Pillows

Graph-boobs.

Young Girl: 'Oh YEAH?! Well my Mum's Implants are BIGGER than YOUR Mum's!'

'We have three who want to serve as their patriotic duty...14 who want nose jobs and 32 who want implants.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

Frank & Ernest. Signe Painted. Cosmetology Dept. That should be "cosmology"! Why do you always get those two confused? I always think the one about space should have an "et" in it.

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

Body Building

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

'Got anything with a little less musk?'

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

"She won't be long, I'm just putting her face on."

Jumble Sale

"Now, open your cosmetics fridge and delicately apply the cold hard cash to the area around your eyes."

'If you want them balanced, it'll be an extra 250 dollars.'

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

'Recent studies have demonstrated that what we believed were ritual sacrifices to Gods, were unsuccessful attempts to do breast implant surgeries."'

'She had a boob job halfway through the sitting!'

'Mommy didn't bring a stick. Boo Boo want to fetch a lipstick?'

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

How The Elephant Lost Her Trunk

Cosmetic pouches.

Operating room. 3 days without an accident.

"Breast implants, filler and botox for your missus doesn't fulfill our home improvements criteria."

'I went under the knife. Do you like?'

"Although a face transplant is theoretically possible you still can't have Brad Pitt's."

'Having limited funds, Irwin goes with the less expensive chest hair transplant.'

'What I've just has my teeth whitened,'

"I'm saving up to have the other one done."

'Now you do realise that we're unable to cure your ugliness don't you?'

"Pulling out the thorn was easy. What I'm most proud of is the hair transplant."