Cosmetic Procedure Aficionado Gifts

'What I've just has my teeth whitened,'

Elephant to elephant with 'nose job.' 'Wait, don't tell me. Something's different.'

'When you said that you'd given me, 'a million dollar smile', I thought you were speaking metaphorically!'

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

'You need to do something about your dry skin.'

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

Facelift Book.

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

"She won't be long, I'm just putting her face on."

"Couldn't you have waited till she was smiling before you injected the botox?"

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

Jumble Sale

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: A Bob Named Sue

'I know we're all terrified of malpractice suits, Bob, but as plastic surgeons, I think we can do a little more than just 'style his hair and call it a day.''hair

"A Leading cosmetics company believes our drilling mud would ake an excellent skincare product."

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

"She's had a lot of work done."

'She had a boob job halfway through the sitting!'

"Looks like Mom is practicing getting her mask ready for Halloween tomorrow."

'Will your wrinkle cream work on these trousers, Mavis?'

'Recent studies have demonstrated that what we believed were ritual sacrifices to Gods, were unsuccessful attempts to do breast implant surgeries."'

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

"Now, open your cosmetics fridge and delicately apply the cold hard cash to the area around your eyes."