Cosmetic Surgery Buffs Gifts

'Not hard to see who had the cheaper plastic surgery, is it!'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Meanwhile in Hollywood

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

"No, Doris, not implants!"

Do you think I'm sixty?

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

Frank & Ernest. Signe Painted. Cosmetology Dept. That should be "cosmology"! Why do you always get those two confused? I always think the one about space should have an "et" in it.

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

'Here's the name of my cosmetic brain surgeon. He make you look smarter.'

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'

'You do Botox?'

"I'll fill it with Play Doh and no one will ever know the difference."

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

Mirror mirror...

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

Body Building

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

'Botox...'

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

MD - Cosmetic Surgery and Investment Portfolio Makeovers.