Surgery Buffs Gifts

Deviated Septum

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

"We need to update your entire operating system."

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

Man with arrow in back - "We're going to run some tests to see if it's psychosomatic."

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

Body Building

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

"Relax, I'm only hear to see my osteopath."

"There are 206 bones in your body...How would you like one more?"

Anatomy.

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

'I know just how you feel.'

'Why are you giving me an allergy shot. Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-allergy shot?'

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

Anatomy.

"I had no idea that exercising my right of immunity meant this."

Fart Sample.

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

Several of the med students had been cheerleaders when they were undergrads.

He really puts his heart into it!

Speaking as an experienced plastic surgeon, believe me when I tell you there's no such thing as a "snout job."

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."