Medicine Buff Gifts

'Why are you giving me an allergy shot. Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-allergy shot?'

'No, no, the pills don't have any medication to improve your balance. You'll just get steadier on your feet by trying to catch pills that are thrown to you.'

'One off the side-effects is shortness of cash.'

"He was doing so well, then his medicine bottles fell on him."

"I had no idea that exercising my right of immunity meant this."

Pharmacy - "And these blue ones are for the stomach cramps the red ones are going to give you."

"It's just a reaction to all that artificial flavoring and artificial sweetening. Now if you just take this synthetic medicine..."

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

'I need to depox.'

'I think I may need a stool softener. . .'

Man reading a book entitled; Impotence - a non pop-up book.

'I'm the doctor -- I'll decide what's medicinal!'

'Aspirin...Paracetamol...Vitamin...'

"Your fastball is just hanging and your curve isn't breaking at all. What you should do is take an analgesic with some pain-relieving anti-inflammatory ingredients for a few days."

"You DO have health insurance, I assume!"

Water: the first medicine

"We need to update your entire operating system."

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

Man with arrow in back - "We're going to run some tests to see if it's psychosomatic."

"We're doing everything we can to make him comfortable, short of dressing up as male doctors."

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

Cures for Ye Plague

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

You have a condition called 'extreme gullibility.' Whatever you say, Doc.

ANd the Oscar for the best special side effects goes to ASTRAZENECA!

"Relax, I'm only hear to see my osteopath."

'I know just how you feel.'

Leeches, lucky charms, rat catching. The secretary of health is in.

'We can't determine if you're telling the truth, but you should have a doctor check your pressure.'

Fart Sample.

"Well, the drug's no good, but the side effects are bitchin'."

"Milton finally found a doctor he can trust - one who still believes in the healing power of money."

Tommy John Surgery.

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'