Medical Field Buff Gifts

Thief pushing a man into the operating theatre, a sign on the wall says: Thieves Operating In This Area

"Don't be alarmed. It's just our technician photo-bombing your X-ray."

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

Dancing Doctor

"We need to update your entire operating system."

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

Man with arrow in back - "We're going to run some tests to see if it's psychosomatic."

'Relax, sir. He's a Border Colie - smartest of all breeds!'

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

'He specializes in funny bones.'

"We're doing everything we can to make him comfortable, short of dressing up as male doctors."

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

Cures for Ye Plague

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

"Your lung capacity is excellent!"

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

'Your hospital needs more nurses? So hire more nurses!'

'I know just how you feel.'

"I have 15,000 patients...so my fantasy football team stinks."

"Relax, I'm only hear to see my osteopath."

'Why are you giving me an allergy shot. Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-allergy shot?'

'My patient needs a new kidney. Make any grave mistakes today?'

"I had no idea that exercising my right of immunity meant this."

Fart Sample.

'We can't determine if you're telling the truth, but you should have a doctor check your pressure.'

'Yes we can cure you - but the bigger problem now is: can you afford it?'

"Milton finally found a doctor he can trust - one who still believes in the healing power of money."