Prophetic Visions Gifts

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

Tiny Visions

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

"I'll have dessert first."

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'I say we try it.'

The Speculators

'I know it looks silly, but they say his prophecies have regained their old accuracy.'

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

The End is Near.

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

doom.com

A self-filling prophecy.

"Why do you need to know if I've made a will?"

COMPAGNIE D'ASSURANCE DE PARIS, 'I can't believe you sold an insurance policy to NOSTRADAMUS!'

'Dang, that reminds me...I've gotta get back and post an entry on my blog.'

'And that's your idea of a desk calendar...'

The End is Near/Just the Beginning

"Honey, could you grab the Bible? I need to double-check something."

'Come back in a couple of days. Maybe something will have opened up.'

"The end of the world is nigh."

Down with canned laughter.

'Don't look now, but they're starting ANOTHER religion in the Middle East.'

'Nostradamus enjoyed singing in the tub'