Prophets Gifts

'Here comes Orwell again - Get ready for some more of his 'I told you so.''

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

Moses on the web

"Black or white, Vicar?"

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

Night-time halo

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Thou Shalt Not!

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

Dogma

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

Minister to marrying couple: 'Remember, you're under oath.'

The ecumenical dinner party.

"We missed you at church Sunday."

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"That's the preacher's dog."

Christian and Born again Christian...

Clown Ministry Baptism Today

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"