Property Builder Gifts

'I've had it with twigs and leaves and string. I'm picking up a completely assembled model from the Nest-O-Matic company.'

Woodpecker House

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'I found the termites!'

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

God's Subcontractors

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'The housing market may be flat, but pillow-fort construction is blooming!'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

'I like it but frankly, I had something more substantial in mind.'

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

Unable to afford scaffolding, Dave ties plungers on his feet to get up a wall.

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'