House Builder Gifts

'All right, Dave, you've smelled the flowers. Now get back to work.'

"Are you sure you used the correct scale?"

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you installed it.'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'I found the termites!'

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

God's Subcontractors

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'The housing market may be flat, but pillow-fort construction is blooming!'

"Steady. This is going to be so sweet."

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

"Werewolves of London..."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

'I like it but frankly, I had something more substantial in mind.'

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'Where do I put the batteries?'