Home Builder Gifts

'Home builders' watch the 'Housing starts' chart with excitement

How to Build a Bungalow

"Well, you with your going on about the importance of insulation!"

Another fine home by McKlosy Construction Co.

Woodpecker House

'Who needs central heating? I've got plenty of vintage port.'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'I found the termites!'

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

God's Subcontractors

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

'The housing market may be flat, but pillow-fort construction is blooming!'

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

'I like it but frankly, I had something more substantial in mind.'

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'

"You can build it with me, but you can't wreck it with me."