Home Builders Gifts

Lumber Yard. Luxury Homes! Some Assembly Required.

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Painting by the numbers for adults

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'I found the termites!'

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

God's Subcontractors

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

'The housing market may be flat, but pillow-fort construction is blooming!'

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

'I like it but frankly, I had something more substantial in mind.'

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

"You can build it with me, but you can't wreck it with me."

'Where do I put the batteries?'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"He says he wants to see the actual brick he donated."

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.