Property Portfolio Builder Gifts

Estate Agents

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

Reverse Mortgage.

'We'll convert it into flats and revitalise the area.'

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

"Sold his air rights."

"I've just bought five acres of prime oceanfront. Want to help me build on it?"

'I can count on one hand the number of contracts that I didn't finish on time.'

An exaggeration of estate agents

"When we said we'd build 'affordable' homes we had a particular buyer in mind."

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

'Your mortgage is under water...so what's the problem?'

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'Before we found you, we were just squeaking by.'

'It started out as a little tree house for the kids and we kept adding on to it.'

Home Sweet Second Home.

"I see no problems. We can get lots more of these houses in.."

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'