Profit Prayer Gifts

'. . .and may the dividends tomorrow be good . . .'

Grace For Flies

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

A child interrupting family prayers

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

'Minyan Man! You've saved the day again!'

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

Monk Prompt

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

Smiling businessman with rising profits

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

"Oh, I can't complain"

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

'I'm just going to say my prayers. Any requests?'

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

"Tia Carmen, I have a killer test tomorrow. Can you help?"

"Are our prayers answered whether we have an iphone or an android?"

"You really shouldn't ask for material things like a bike. At least try for a Porsche."

"Amen. Please help me up."

'This is why we can't have nice things... '

"Sure, I pray all the time... English test, Math test, History test...."

"This might take awhile, Lord."

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'