Prayerful Investor Gifts

The church of our lady of wall street.

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

Drive-thru Church

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

"Sure, I pray all the time... English test, Math test, History test...."

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

'You've got plenty of time for a little prayer before you get to him.'

"Are we allowed to pray?"

Put it in writing!

Me, Alice and God

Buddha Statue: Buy Low, Sell High, Stay Diversified.

'And if this food does what I think it will - may we all meet in Heaven.'

How to Succeed in Business - Strategy 2: Build relationships at the highest level.

'Our Community Mental Health Foundation has given us a grant NOT to broadcast the stock market news.'

"Robert prays for the answers."

'...and if my taxes are cut, I promise to stimulate the economy.'

"Do you want to add something about not trying to time the market?"

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'the Dow is up'?"

Exercise for the end of the day...

"Dear God, what's the meaning of knife."

'Mr. Turtle is interested in 'Single Prayer Health Insurance'...'

'Your prayers may be monitored for quality assurance.'

Pray now - Go later.

Amen

Tallit barcode

"Mind if I pray through?"

"Now I lay me down to sleep..."

'Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change this things that I can, and the kind of money where I don't really care either way.'

"Please guide me on my journey...give me the knowledge and wisdom to make the right choices...and it would be great if these choices were on sale, too."