Prayerful Ponderer Gifts

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

'Mr. Turtle is interested in 'Single Prayer Health Insurance'...'

'Your prayers may be monitored for quality assurance.'

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

'Thank you so much! Now I'll have to start all over again!'

Amen

"Sorry, the line is busy again. He and Joe Lieberman are still exchanging pleasantries."

"Really looks like the could use a miracle about now sir!"

'And please bless my Dad with an increase in pay nd the goodness of heart to raise my allowance.'

"Dear God, what's the meaning of knife."

'Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change this things that I can, and the kind of money where I don't really care either way.'

Exercise for the end of the day...

"It's hallow be thy name, not Halloween and thy name."

"Do I need a password?"

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

Crowded Ice Fishing

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"Sitting here with you each day at sunset reminds me I have to get a job."

Drive-thru Church

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

CartoonStock Upload

'Sometimes, in the stillness and warmth of an afternoon sun, I can almost hear interest compounding.'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

'Lord, we thank thee for the bounty we're about to receive.'

'Yes sir, Thoreau had the right idea.'

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

Fish sleeps while counting worms that jump over a fence.

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

'How come there aren't any peace heroes?'