Prayerful Consumer Gifts

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"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

Drive-thru Church

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

"Amen. Please help me up."

'The only way anyone gets in is on there knees.'

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

'I have a math test tomorrow, Sir, and I could use a godsend multiplicationwise.'

The church of our lady of wall street.

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

"I'm going to have to make this quick, God. I just ask that you watch over me during my double knee replacement tomorrow."

"... and God bless my mom and her courage to call this food."

"Are we allowed to pray?"

Put it in writing!

'And if this food does what I think it will - may we all meet in Heaven.'

Trilby - 'May heaven go with her!'

'Last guy up blow out the candles.'

"I find it difficult to like him. He's too good at being humble."

Exercise for the end of the day...

'...and if my taxes are cut, I promise to stimulate the economy.'

"Dear God, what's the meaning of knife."

'Mr. Turtle is interested in 'Single Prayer Health Insurance'...'

'Your prayers may be monitored for quality assurance.'

'Do you mind if I pray just this once?'

'God, grant me all that I deserve. Amen'

California: In Case of Fire Break Glass and Dial A Prayer.

Pray now - Go later.

Amen

'Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change this things that I can, and the kind of money where I don't really care either way.'

"Mind if I pray through?"

I shopped in the Garden of Eden.

"Sorry, the line is busy again. He and Joe Lieberman are still exchanging pleasantries."