Profit Prophets Gifts

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

"Damn straight, it's not as if there's a war and they just hand us our profits."

'What do you see in gold futures.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

'Now this is my kind of green!'

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

Pie Filling Reader

Smiling businessman with rising profits

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

"Oh, I can't complain"

'This is why we can't have nice things... '

'I would like to see a little less adventure in this business venture.'

'We were in the right place at the right time but, unfortunately, we were in the wrong time zone.'

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

"So our agreed strategy is to dominate the market and it creeps profits by 670%. Anybody any idea how to do it?"

"I can't understand it, we did quite well in the first three quarters.

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

"Love your feng shui!"

'That's the first nickel I took in!'

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

Perhaps we could get the Saatchis to pain a pretty picture.

'Here's the improved margins you said you wanted to see this year, Tom.'

"Really? You'd like to be part of this?"

"Graphs are like EKGs, they show the health of a company."

"...and right here in Q2 is where the 'you know what' hit the fan. . ."

The Speculators

Man climbing line chart, planting profit flag.

'This is where we shed all our inhibitions.'

"Our accountancy firm says that there are a number of ways to interpret the figures... which one do you prefer?"

Wall St Baptist: 'Life is exactly like the stock market exchange and we each have our own portfolio to manage.'