Office Prayer Gifts

'Please give me the strength to ask for a raise without my voice breaking into an annoying falsetto and my brow all sweaty.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

Grace For Flies

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'T.M.I.F.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.

"If you could be in any cubicle, which one would it be?"

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

Office slaves.

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"We're all just a number here, Finch, and fortunately my number is one."

Lumbar support animal

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'