Office Poet Gifts

Why there aren't so many poem writing business men...

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Meet The Author"

'T.M.I.F.'

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Do me next."

Edgar Allen Poe

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"