Profile Picture Perfectionist Gifts

My online photo was a bit of an April Fool.

Using a social media app to date

Build Your Own Portfolio

Yoga for Alcoholics

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"Could you keep still?"

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

"We need to create more hashtag-worthy moments."

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

'We no longer look at résumés. We go straight to your Facebook page.'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'Actually, they're a hybrid. They are a blue-chip, common stock.'

'Wake up! You should be worrying about our investments!'

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

"You're pretty optimistic about this new investment strategy of your's, aren't you?"

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

Making it look easy.

'Don't just stand there, get into focus!'

'Find out if that was a computer glitch or a market glitch?'

"I refuse to discuss my selfless passion for public service until my hair, makeup and lighting are perfect."

'After looking over your portfolio, I don't think 'enough' will be enough.'

"Stop staring"

You looked different during our video chat.

'No, your stock didn't split. The fact it's worth half of what it was yesterday is just an amazing coincidence.'

I'm filling out my myface.com and I have a question. Rudy Park, tech genius, at your service. Should I pretend to be 10,12 or 26 years old? 32? I configure browsers, not fake personas! I think I'll play for the Broncos.

Woman is surrounding by penguins and can't reach her camera

"This painting will make you so famous that you won't be able to walk down the street without being recognised."

The Birth of a Portfolio

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio.'

"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."

Investments: Getting In Touch With Your Inner Greed

'You know your problem, Mr Hanes? Your stock portfolio is too full of companies that run like the government.'

Creative Director skipping through an advertising portfolio.

'Chair Pose' - 'Utkatasana' - 'Mountain Pose' - 'Tadasana' - 'Standing Forward Bend' - 'Kissmyasana'