Profile Picture Perfectionist Pillows

My online photo was a bit of an April Fool.

Using a social media app to date

Build Your Own Portfolio

Yoga for Alcoholics

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

"Could you keep still?"

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

"We need to create more hashtag-worthy moments."

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

'We no longer look at résumés. We go straight to your Facebook page.'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'Wake up! You should be worrying about our investments!'

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

'Actually, they're a hybrid. They are a blue-chip, common stock.'

"You're pretty optimistic about this new investment strategy of your's, aren't you?"

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

'Don't just stand there, get into focus!'

Making it look easy.

'Find out if that was a computer glitch or a market glitch?'

"I refuse to discuss my selfless passion for public service until my hair, makeup and lighting are perfect."

'No, your stock didn't split. The fact it's worth half of what it was yesterday is just an amazing coincidence.'

"Stop staring"

'After looking over your portfolio, I don't think 'enough' will be enough.'

Woman is surrounding by penguins and can't reach her camera

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio.'

"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."

Social lens of the photojournalist

Investments: Getting In Touch With Your Inner Greed

'You know your problem, Mr Hanes? Your stock portfolio is too full of companies that run like the government.'

'Chair Pose' - 'Utkatasana' - 'Mountain Pose' - 'Tadasana' - 'Standing Forward Bend' - 'Kissmyasana'

'Oh Cynthia, I must tell you. I just found the cutest little mutual fund...'