Image Perfectionist Gifts

"I refuse to discuss my selfless passion for public service until my hair, makeup and lighting are perfect."

Nethead strip: Image consultant

The Computer Bore

Yoga for Alcoholics

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

Homo Gamus

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"Could you keep still?"

"We need to create more hashtag-worthy moments."

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

Making it look easy.

Besties Photo

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

'Don't just stand there, get into focus!'

"Well, no wonder you can't think! There's your brain over there on the floor!"

"This painting will make you so famous that you won't be able to walk down the street without being recognised."

"Stop staring"

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

Woman is surrounding by penguins and can't reach her camera

"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."

'I made hundreds of copies to give to all the students in my school. By the way, the color printer is out of ink.'

'It's a nice font but before deciding we'd really like to see your font library.'

'Chair Pose' - 'Utkatasana' - 'Mountain Pose' - 'Tadasana' - 'Standing Forward Bend' - 'Kissmyasana'

Social lens of the photojournalist

Using a social media app to date

'I am playing outside, Mom -- look at the graphics.'

"Don't make me look fat!"

"Dang it, my eyes were closed - take another one!"

"Of course it's improved. Check out the quality of the packaging graphics."

Decorating a column.

"How long can you hold that pose?!"

'Please pardon the inconvenience while this web page is under construction.'

'George is from the 'old school' of printing...!'

"He hasn't the heart to discharge her. She's been with him for years."

"It's better digitally enhanced."