Vision Perfectionist Gifts

"Are these any good?" "Perfect! Now I can see much better lenses across the road!"

Cupid and Doctor

"Eagle Eye" Eddie would often ace his eye exams from the waiting room.

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

Bullseye!

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

Hanging off every word...

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

Man and woman buying furniture.

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

'And in conclusion, perhaps a change of business model is in order.'

'I wish you would update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

"You additional graphics are totally unnecessary, Phelps."

Lessons from the Blakely Art School (Now Defunct)