Productivity Rebel Gifts

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"Gentleman I believe I've found a revolutionary new way for us to more productively waste our lives."

Targets.

"I'm leaving. It's just way too much collaborating."

'If people who have sudden ideas really had light bulbs over their heads, it would be very dark in here.'

I came in early to seize the day...but it seized me first.

'I'm sure you all agree that this has been a very constructive meeting.'

"I've found if I squint my eyes and frown, it looks like I'm concentrating rather than sleeping.".

Man being fed 'Get up and Go' on a drip.

'Actually, I haven't done any work for a month due to technical difficulties.'

Efficiency Expert: Back at 3:17:03

"Put down your cell phone and check your job!"

'This spider's web proves that you've done no work today!'

Look at me multitasking. I'm shooting the breeze, checking invoices and drinking coffee.

Meeting Room. I never knew so much time could be wasted while it was standing still.

Boss

Department of Productivity: Caution - High Speed Revolving Door.

"How many work in my department? On a good day probably about half."

"With this system nobody ever needs a holiday. A doctor occasionally, but not a holiday."

'We're hoping to employ a workaholic for whom job-satisfaction is reward enough.'

"Now let's check our ethical hats in at the door and get some bloody work done."

Workaholism is a disease. It can be cured.

"I feel like I got a lot accomplished today."

"The fact is, Bob, your amazing ability to focus on problems like a laser beam is freaking out everybody in the company!"

"Waking at 2 A.M. is how I stay one step ahead of all the people who wake at 5 A.M."

'Why have you put that pen and notebook there?'

'Some way we've got to get back the good old American know-how to make cheap crap.'

"His productivity apps pushed him to an early grave."

Nothing gives me a greater feeling of accomplishment than not accomplishing anything.

"And another thing, stop sending me e-mails."

'This is a very difficult job. There's only so much you can pretend you're doing.'

"I'm glad I'm not in business for myself - I wasted the whole day."

"You'll be discriminating against employees who just laze around."