Productivity Rebel Pillows

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"Gentleman I believe I've found a revolutionary new way for us to more productively waste our lives."

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

Targets.

"I'm leaving. It's just way too much collaborating."

'If people who have sudden ideas really had light bulbs over their heads, it would be very dark in here.'

I came in early to seize the day...but it seized me first.

'I'm sure you all agree that this has been a very constructive meeting.'

"I've found if I squint my eyes and frown, it looks like I'm concentrating rather than sleeping.".

"Put down your cell phone and check your job!"

'Actually, I haven't done any work for a month due to technical difficulties.'

Efficiency Expert: Back at 3:17:03

Look at me multitasking. I'm shooting the breeze, checking invoices and drinking coffee.

'This spider's web proves that you've done no work today!'

Man being fed 'Get up and Go' on a drip.

"With this system nobody ever needs a holiday. A doctor occasionally, but not a holiday."

Department of Productivity: Caution - High Speed Revolving Door.

"How many work in my department? On a good day probably about half."

'We're hoping to employ a workaholic for whom job-satisfaction is reward enough.'

"I feel like I got a lot accomplished today."

Workaholism is a disease. It can be cured.

"Waking at 2 A.M. is how I stay one step ahead of all the people who wake at 5 A.M."

"The fact is, Bob, your amazing ability to focus on problems like a laser beam is freaking out everybody in the company!"

'Why have you put that pen and notebook there?'

"His productivity apps pushed him to an early grave."

'Some way we've got to get back the good old American know-how to make cheap crap.'

"And another thing, stop sending me e-mails."

'This is a very difficult job. There's only so much you can pretend you're doing.'

"I'm glad I'm not in business for myself - I wasted the whole day."

"You'll be discriminating against employees who just laze around."

'Since you do the work of three people, we're firing you to create more jobs in this economy.'