Productivity Parody Lover Pillows

Efficiency Expert: Back at 3:17:03

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"Gentleman I believe I've found a revolutionary new way for us to more productively waste our lives."

"Do we always have to work through lunch?"

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

"Give a man a job, and he'll work all day. Teach a man to delegate, and he'll take the rest of the day off."

"Ok, so you got the worm. What are you going to do with the rest of your day?"

'My multi-tasking turned into faulty-tasking.'

"Some days, no matter how much you procrastinate, work still gets done."

'If people who have sudden ideas really had light bulbs over their heads, it would be very dark in here.'

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

'I'm sorry you had to wait. My Time Management Workshop started late.'

'I need a tool to measure productivity.'

"A laptop has been installed in each rest room stall."

'I'm the CEO of a large corporation. Of course my cough is productive. Everything I do is productive.'

"Slip some performance enhancing drug into the water. We need more production!"

The other digital divide.

Drinks for the post-caffeinated economy

Beesy schedule.

I was hoping you might convince him by demonstrating the quality of the product.

'Remember, I'm doing the best you can.'

'Work production rose significantly once we closed all the curtains in the windows.'

"I've found if I squint my eyes and frown, it looks like I'm concentrating rather than sleeping.".

Tunnel of Workaholics

How to boost your work output...

Look at me multitasking. I'm shooting the breeze, checking invoices and drinking coffee.

"That must be the new 'sit-work' desk."

"I start every day by making a list of the people I need to ignore."

'Good work is it's own reward, but delegation is even better.'

'Technology is wonderful. It makes your people so much easier to use.'

Desk trays - 'Do it' and 'Do it right this time'.

"To keep on top of the work I'm going to have to put in some overtime."

"We've increased job satisfaction. Now let's focus on productivity."