Productivity Skeptic Pillows

"Gentleman I believe I've found a revolutionary new way for us to more productively waste our lives."

'Some way we've got to get back the good old American know-how to make cheap crap.'

"I've found if I squint my eyes and frown, it looks like I'm concentrating rather than sleeping.".

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"Give a man a job, and he'll work all day. Teach a man to delegate, and he'll take the rest of the day off."

"...simple, we topped the water cooler with energy drinks and productivity rocketed."

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

'I'm sure you all agree that this has been a very constructive meeting.'

'Actually, I haven't done any work for a month due to technical difficulties.'

"That's when we put those expensive organic snacks in the vending machines."

Look at me multitasking. I'm shooting the breeze, checking invoices and drinking coffee.

'Stein, have you given any thought to using performance enhancing drugs?'

GDP and G&T.

"That must be the new 'sit-work' desk."

"I think I see the problem."

How to boost your work output...

'These graphs represent productivity between free-range and cubicled workers.'

"We've increased job satisfaction. Now let's focus on productivity."

'And it was at this point when he switched from mouse-based, desktop computers to trackpad laptops.'

"How many work in my department? On a good day probably about half."

Department of Productivity: Caution - High Speed Revolving Door.

'He does all he can to keep from doing all he could.'

"With this system nobody ever needs a holiday. A doctor occasionally, but not a holiday."

'Ideally, I'd like a job where my multi-application cell phone will do all the work.'

'Since you think better in there, Hawkins, how's the McNulty account coming?'

'I remember when it used to say THINK.'

"I feel like I got a lot accomplished today."

"You'd be more productive if this was plugged in."

"Unsticky notes test #17 success!"

"At least TRY to look as busy as a bee!"

"The fact is, Bob, your amazing ability to focus on problems like a laser beam is freaking out everybody in the company!"