Productivity Purists Pillows

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"Gentleman I believe I've found a revolutionary new way for us to more productively waste our lives."

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."

"Give a man a job, and he'll work all day. Teach a man to delegate, and he'll take the rest of the day off."

Targets.

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

Productivity as a goal

I came in early to seize the day...but it seized me first.

The other digital divide.

Drinks for the post-caffeinated economy

'Actually, I haven't done any work for a month due to technical difficulties.'

"That must be the new 'sit-work' desk."

'This spider's web proves that you've done no work today!'

GDP and G&T.

Man being fed 'Get up and Go' on a drip.

Look at me multitasking. I'm shooting the breeze, checking invoices and drinking coffee.

"I've found if I squint my eyes and frown, it looks like I'm concentrating rather than sleeping.".

How to boost your work output...

"With this system nobody ever needs a holiday. A doctor occasionally, but not a holiday."

"How many work in my department? On a good day probably about half."

Department of Productivity: Caution - High Speed Revolving Door.

"We've increased job satisfaction. Now let's focus on productivity."

'We're hoping to employ a workaholic for whom job-satisfaction is reward enough.'

'I gained about two hours a day. I gave up the New York Times.'

"You'd be more productive if this was plugged in."

'I remember when it used to say THINK.'

"Unsticky notes test #17 success!"

"Waking at 2 A.M. is how I stay one step ahead of all the people who wake at 5 A.M."

"At least TRY to look as busy as a bee!"

"The fact is, Bob, your amazing ability to focus on problems like a laser beam is freaking out everybody in the company!"