Anti-productivity Enthusiast Pillows

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"Gentleman I believe I've found a revolutionary new way for us to more productively waste our lives."

"Do we always have to work through lunch?"

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

"Ok, so you got the worm. What are you going to do with the rest of your day?"

"...simple, we topped the water cooler with energy drinks and productivity rocketed."

'My multi-tasking turned into faulty-tasking.'

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

"Some days, no matter how much you procrastinate, work still gets done."

'I'm sorry you had to wait. My Time Management Workshop started late.'

'I need a tool to measure productivity.'

"A laptop has been installed in each rest room stall."

'I'm the CEO of a large corporation. Of course my cough is productive. Everything I do is productive.'

"Slip some performance enhancing drug into the water. We need more production!"

The other digital divide.

Drinks for the post-caffeinated economy

Beesy schedule.

'Remember, I'm doing the best you can.'

'Work production rose significantly once we closed all the curtains in the windows.'

'Actually, I haven't done any work for a month due to technical difficulties.'

'Stein, have you given any thought to using performance enhancing drugs?'

"That's when we put those expensive organic snacks in the vending machines."

'Good work is it's own reward, but delegation is even better.'

Tunnel of Workaholics

"I start every day by making a list of the people I need to ignore."

Look at me multitasking. I'm shooting the breeze, checking invoices and drinking coffee.

Efficiency Expert: Back at 3:17:03

"I've found if I squint my eyes and frown, it looks like I'm concentrating rather than sleeping.".

"I think I see the problem."

'These graphs represent productivity between free-range and cubicled workers.'

'Technology is wonderful. It makes your people so much easier to use.'

Rip van Winkle goes back to the office/