Anti-productivity Promoter Pillows

Bummer Time Streaming

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Gentleman I believe I've found a revolutionary new way for us to more productively waste our lives."

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

'I don't want your input until you produce some output.'

"Give a man a job, and he'll work all day. Teach a man to delegate, and he'll take the rest of the day off."

"There appears to be a direct correlation between fewer meetings and higher productivity."

Targets.

'Right about here I added a drip coffee maker, with high caffeine premium blend coffee, to the employee break room.'

I came in early to seize the day...but it seized me first.

Productivity as a goal

'I'm sure you all agree that this has been a very constructive meeting.'

"I've found if I squint my eyes and frown, it looks like I'm concentrating rather than sleeping.".

'Actually, I haven't done any work for a month due to technical difficulties.'

'This spider's web proves that you've done no work today!'

"That must be the new 'sit-work' desk."

Man being fed 'Get up and Go' on a drip.

How to boost your work output...

"We've increased job satisfaction. Now let's focus on productivity."

Department of Productivity: Caution - High Speed Revolving Door.

"How many work in my department? On a good day probably about half."

Rip van Winkle goes back to the office/

Boss

"Goodbye, masked consultant. And thanks for reducing our inefficiencies."

'We're hoping to employ a workaholic for whom job-satisfaction is reward enough.'

"Unsticky notes test #17 success!"

To do list

"Now let's check our ethical hats in at the door and get some bloody work done."

"I feel like I got a lot accomplished today."

"You'd be more productive if this was plugged in."

"Waking at 2 A.M. is how I stay one step ahead of all the people who wake at 5 A.M."

"At least TRY to look as busy as a bee!"