Productivity Protester Gifts

Fine. Block my email and jam my cellphone. I'll just goof off more at the water cooler!

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

Do Not Resuscitate

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

"Gentleman I believe I've found a revolutionary new way for us to more productively waste our lives."

'Right about here I added a drip coffee maker, with high caffeine premium blend coffee, to the employee break room.'

'If people who have sudden ideas really had light bulbs over their heads, it would be very dark in here.'

An acceptable level of TV violence.

'Actually, I haven't done any work for a month due to technical difficulties.'

"Put down your cell phone and check your job!"

"We ship ours from Deckville to Lyleport."

"I've found if I squint my eyes and frown, it looks like I'm concentrating rather than sleeping.".

'My lawyer will get us out of here. This is a clear breach of human rights.'

"How many work in my department? On a good day probably about half."

Department of Productivity: Caution - High Speed Revolving Door.

"A motion to democratize the board has been made and quashed."

"I'm from the Environmental Protection Agency. You're doing great."

Workaholism is a disease. It can be cured.

Over-packaged fruit and vegetables

"I feel like I got a lot accomplished today."

"Your heart won't tolerate any more town-hall meetings."

'Some way we've got to get back the good old American know-how to make cheap crap.'

'Why have you put that pen and notebook there?'

"His productivity apps pushed him to an early grave."

Smoky Factory

A madness of motorists

'Sexism in the workplace meeting (Blue-eyed blondes especially welcome)'

'This is a very difficult job. There's only so much you can pretend you're doing.'

Box reads: 'DIRECT ACTION MAN'.

Surfing the Brown Water.

"I'm glad I'm not in business for myself - I wasted the whole day."

"I want a raise, not an attaboy."